I don’t know what to write and it creeps me out, because I don’t want to lose the appeal to write more. I am too scared my words won’t fit together, and my ideas will scatter. I am too scared to hear any more self-esteem destructing comments, as I am used to those.
My English teacher is not English. She comes to our class, gives us a little something to solve, and does nothing after that. She does not lead us to the correct way of writing. She does not encourage us to write what’s on our minds. She does not show us the beauty of language.
5 days ago, she read a formal letter I wrote to my principal, and told me it ‘is horrible’ and ‘don’t give it to the principal or she’ll throw it away’, in front of my friends and other teachers. I decided then to do my best to prove that I can get better in English without her ‘help’, if you consider destroying confidence as a way of helping.
I created this blog, and I started off fine, for the first two posts. Yesterday, I sat around for about an hour thinking of what to write and I eventually quit.
This upsets me incredibly because I am trying my best but I’m still lost for words, and I feel like it’s getting harder for me to express myself as the time passes, and I am certain it is because of the people surrounding me: all their criticism destroying me and my dreams.
I constantly read novels and I try to write random things sometimes. I want to keep on posting in this blog but why is it getting harder, from the very third time? Why do I have to care so much when I am anonymous here? And most important of all, why am I getting this pang of frustration right now?